When Can I Talk About My Poop?: A Runner's Conversation Guide

If you happen to be running an ultra marathon, there is more bonding and it is appropriate to talk about poop much sooner. Below is a guideline from runner Brandon Mulnix about conversation topics to cover on a 100-mile race:

1 Mile Together

  • Name

2 Miles Together

  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do when you are not training?
  • What races have you been running?
  • What did you wife think about your training before she left you?

3 to 5 Miles Together

  • What is your next race?
  • How many spouses have you lost to running?
  • Are there aliens out there?

6 to 20 Miles Together

  • You are now BFFs
  • Life story
  • Politics
  • Color of last poop
  • Things that piss you off

20 to 50 Miles Together

  • Practically married
  • Repeat life story
  • Talk about next race you will run together
  • You can now talk about sex

50 to 99 Miles Together

  • They are now family
  • Include them in your will

100 Miles Together

  • Your sprint at the end results in a divorce.

What do you talk about on your long runs?

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