Michael organizes the race in an attempt to raise money for "science" after Meredith, the employee he ran over with his car, needs to get a series of rabies shots. (For more on that, ask Dwight about the time Meredith's head got trapped in a bag with a bat.) Unfortunately for us, but luckily for Meredith, the race was a one-time deal. It raised a total of $700, $200 of which was spent on a giant check.
We figure you can tell a lot about a person by their running style. So in honor of the fun run episode, we've decided to offer a series of questions that will help you decide which character you would be if you lived in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Keep track if you answer mostly a's, b's, c's, d's or e's.
Question 11 of 15
How long can you go every week?
b. 127 when I'm having a bad week
c. As an all-state club team cross-country runner at Cornell, I was logging about 40 per
d. I'm supposed to run every week?
e. Oh, I'd say about 15 to 20 miles
Question 22 of 15
What is the longest distance you've raced:
b. Back-to-back Barkley Marathons
c. One day, I think I'd like to finish a fun run
d. I've walked two marathons... I'm pretty sure I can handle a 5K
e. My Runkeeper says I've done a half marathon
Question 33 of 15
Describe your race-day gear:
a. Straw hat and polo shirt
b. The race shirt and spandex shorts
c. A visor, khaki capris
d. Cotton neon tank
e. My good shorts and my lucky hat
Question 44 of 15
What do you eat or drink before you race?
a. Lunch, and then a martini along the way
b. Fettuccini alfredo
c. Mixed berry yogurt
d. Similar to how I prime my throat before a gig with Here Comes Treble, I gargle and consume large quantities of Gu Energy Gels
e. Coffee with a splash of Imodium
Question 55 of 15
What running malady do you most often experience?
a. Stress-induced heart attacks
b. Vomit. Oh, and scar tissue from that time I grilled my foot
c. Not feeling accomplished or fulfilled
e. I often worry about my breathing based on the radon quantities in our office. It's a silent killer
Question 66 of 15
What do you do at aid stations?
a. Ask for a cocktail
b. Skip it! Rabies causes a fear of water—solidarity!
c. Stop and chat
d. I use the tried and tested "pinch the cup" maneuver
e. Throw the cup at the volunteer
Question 77 of 15
What is your racing pro-tip?
a. "Work out...Work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause"
b. Remember, it's not about winning, it's about finishing
c. Look for good bargains along the way
d. Drafting. It's all about wind resistance
e. Always use the bathroom first
Question 88 of 15
What do you do when the going gets tough?
a. My crosswords
b. Sit down on the sidewalk and grieve for all the orphans in poor countries battling illnesses and rabies
c. Buy a lamp (it's only $8)
d. Hit the lube
e. Think of Pam
Question 99 of 15
What was the result of your last race?
c. Oh, somewhere in the middle of the pack
d. I won. The men's 40-45 fourth place, Clydesdale division
e. Overall winner!
Mostly A's10 of 15
You are Stanley Hudson!
No, you did not stutter. You're not a runner. You used to be a stud, but in recent years, you've lost a little speed. Back in the day you had some serious biceps. You fought the power and ate whatever the hell you wanted. But nowadays, if there is a finish line, you're going to take a cab to it. You might even take some like-minded individuals and grab a cocktail along the way.
Mostly B's11 of 15
You are Michael Scott!
You're pretty much a professional runner. You know how to carbo-load and how to open the race with that starting kick. Sometimes though, the fettuccini settles like a brick in your stomach and the alfredo sauce causes a side stitch. You're valiant in your efforts to stay aligned with the causes you believe in, even if that means collapsing from dehydration after forgoing water. And while you may puke your guts out, you will never puke your heart out—and we love you for that.
Mostly C's12 of 15
You are Pam Beesly!
At the start line, your race strategy is simple. You plan to run the first part fast, run the second part fast and finally, finish fast. But somewhere along the way, you get off track. You mosey off the course and end up in a garage surrounded by junk. What a metaphor for your life! But you are not derailed. No. There is a strong character under that unassuming cardigan. You've survived a broken engagement, a woman from Connecticut up in your 'hood and oh yeah, a trust walk over burning coals. If you felt like winning this 5K, you could. But you'll realize your full potential in due time.
Mostly D's13 of 15
You are Andy Bernard!
You might want to "beer" your acapella homies some running advice, since you know just about everything there is to know about racing. You know that the key to getting through any distance is wind resistance. But even if you're not the fastest guy in the run crew (probably because of the bloody nipples), you're one of the most respected. And how did you achieve that? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.
Mostly E's14 of 15
You are Toby Flenderson!
As Michael would say, "No one asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull?"