What You’re Really Thinking While You Run

Anger

Anger

  1. How long have I been running?
  2. TWELVE MINUTES?
  3. Feels like 12 years.
  4. Why am I so slow today??
  5. COME ON LEGS. BE ATHLETIC FOR ME ONE TIME.
  6. What are these two people doing?
  7. Umm, excuse me. This trail is for runners—and cyclists, I guess... but mostly runners.
  8. RUN-ners. Not WALK-ers.
  9. Seriously, who gets all geared up for a casual stroll with a pal?
  10. If you're going to walk on my running trail, you could at least form a single-file line.
  11. Dodging lowly walkers while on a bike would be a pain.
  12. I have a lot of respect for cyclists.
  13. WHOA! EASY LANCE ARMSTRONG. Freakin' SPEED RACER.
  14. On the left? Well I'm on the right, buddy. And I do not appreciate your rate of speed.
  15. I hate cyclists.
  16. I look waaay cooler in my moisture wicking hat than you do in your bike helmet from the future.
  17. [Checks reflection]
  18. Or not. 
  19. Seriously, what was that? Why do I look like Jabba the Hutt?
  20. Why can't I be more like Beyonce?
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