Get ready to say, “Ugh. YES!” to more than a few of these.
1. A neutral rollout that is anything but.1 of 30
It's called a NEUTRAL rollout for a reason, people!
2. That one guy who never pulls, then ditches the group with 10 miles to go.2 of 30
3. The Strava email you get when someone steals your KOM.3 of 30
I didn't want to be King of the Mountain anyway… *Grabs bike to try and regain crown*
4. Chipseal.4 of 30
Why would you go and ruin a perfectly good road with bumps all over the place??
5. Triathletes.5 of 30
6. Disc brakes in the wrong hands. Look out!6 of 30
I'll gladly take those off your hands.
7. Helmet mirrors.7 of 30
Try to look more cool and less tool.
8. Runners with headphones.8 of 30
Don't be mad when I run you over because you didn't hear me coming.
9. Strollers.9 of 30
Just because you have a stroller doesn't mean you own the bike path. Worse? When you say, "On your left," and they move left.
10. The guy on the fixie who rides with the geared group just to say he did it.10 of 30
Cool story bro.
11. When a bug flies into your mouth…or eye…or ear.11 of 30
12. When your Garmin or phone dies right before the end of the ride.12 of 30
13. Hairy Legs.13 of 30
Are you even a true cyclist if you don't shave your legs?
14. Arm warmers with sleeveless jerseys.14 of 30
Like, what even is the point?
15. Sleeveless jerseys.15 of 30
Seriously, we're embarrassed for you.
16. Mismatched kit.16 of 30
Did you get dressed in the dark?
17. Flats.17 of 30
Especially on a group ride.
18. Half-wheelers.18 of 30
You're killin' the vibe, bro.
19. Too much Strava talk on group rides.19 of 30
No, we don't care about your KOM.
20. Headphones on group rides…or headphones anytime.20 of 30
Why don't you just wear a jersey that says, "I'm not concerned with my own safety, and I'm even less concerned with YOUR safety."
21. Volvo drivers.21 of 30
22. No socks.22 of 30
What's that smell? A smelly smell that smells… Smelly.
23. Crashing.23 of 30
24. White Lycra cycling shorts.24 of 30
Enough anatomy is revealed with standard Lycra. We don't need you to make it easier for us.
25. A Big Gulp tossed from the window of a moving car.25 of 30
No, that's OK. I was hoping for a cherry-flavored shower…
26. A ride without Chamois Butt'r.26 of 30
27. Squirrels and spokes.27 of 30
28. Glass in the road.28 of 30
You know, I was just thinking I hadn't practiced changing a flat in a while…
29. Bibs in "an emergency."29 of 30
WHY WON'T THIS JERSEY COME OFF!