Awful Energy Bars1 of 16
"Wow. This new energy bar tastes like a mouth full of dirt."
When Animals Attack2 of 16
"I should really remember to keep my mouth shut on long descents. Remember that time you swallowed the bee?"
Idiots With Glass Bottles3 of 16
"People who throw glass bottles in bike lanes are idiots."
Traffic That Feels a Lot Like Playing Frogger4 of 16
"Why does it seem like all the cars on the road want to kill me today?"
Training on Hills5 of 16
"Why do I seek out hills and hate them once I start going up?"
Insane Bike Noise6 of 16
"That noise from my bike coming from God knows where is going to drive me insane."
Shorts That Don't Fit7 of 16
"These shorts looked awesome online, but they really suck right now."
Strangers That Like to Draft8 of 16
"Why the hell is this stranger sitting on my wheel? Have I suddenly involved myself in a race that I'm unaware of?"
Extreme Fatigue That Leads to Deceit9 of 16
"I am so freaking tired. Maybe I should fake a double flat and get my wife (spouse) to come pick me up."
Hunger Pains10 of 16
"Blueberry pancakes slathered in butter and syrup sound awesome right now. But so do brownies, a turkey sandwich and two large pizzas."
Hunger Pains Continued11 of 16
"And a beer."
The Joy of the Outdoors After Winter12 of 16
"I should really make more time to ride outside. The indoor trainer sucks."
One of the Worst Ways to Crash13 of 16
"When was the last time I checked my handlebar bolts? It would be a bad way to end a ride if those came loose. Remember George Hincapie in Paris Roubaix?"
Spit That Won't Fly Far Enough14 of 16
"Why can't I spit further than the side of my face?"
Strava Versus Obeying the Law15 of 16
"I wanted to come to a complete stop at that stop sign. Really, I did. But Strava makes me do all kinds of bad things on a bike."