11 Things That Are Better Than Podium Girls

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On March 1, the Tour de France announced they will be the second Grand Tour to stop the longstanding tradition of having scantily clad women deliver trophies. The Tour de France organizers have been considering halting the use of podium girls since last year’s race, according to The Times.

For those not familiar, one of the ubiquitous images in cycling is that of two beauty queens kissing the man on the podium, who is positioned in between them. But races have come under fire recently for perpetuating sexism and devaluing women in cycling by using these conventionally attractive women to pose with winners.

We wondered what the awards ceremony at the Tour de France would look like now that podium girls have (thankfully) been relieved of their duties. Would the presenters wear polka dot suits? Should young, aspiring cyclists be the trophy bearers? Or maybe drones?

Because we can all agree on this: seriously anything is better than podium girls. Here’s our list of what we’d like to see at the Tour de France this year.

Puppies

I mean, duh.

A Wizard

Fifty points to Gryffindor.

A Giant Bube of Chamois Butter

I mean, would you even be there without it?

Baristas

With a tiny cup of espresso!

Cows

No longer just a weird sight along the course.

An Actual Lion

Instead of yet another stuffed animal for Chris Froome’s son.

Drake

With a giant check.

Lance Armstrong

Giving you all his trophies.

Drug Tester

“Here’s your trophy. And here’s your cup.”

Beer

Obviously.

Laser Cats

DJ Roomba

Because literally ANYTHING is better than podium girls.