What You’re Really Thinking While You Run

Depression

1. WHY CAN'T I BREATHE?
2. Am I having a heart attack? Is this what it feels like?
3. How far away from home am I?
4. Still two miles?? Did I make a wrong turn?
5. I couldn't have made a wrong turn; I'm running in a circle.
6. Circle. Circles. The circle of life. Life is a circle.
7. What are we even doing here? Like, seriously, what is life?
8. Life cereal sounds spectacular right now. I haven't had that in so long.
9. I can't wait to eat.
10. Maybe I can speed up for just a second... the faster I run, the faster I'm done.
11. What's that called? Fart-something. Fartnit? Fartlet? Fartlek? Fartlek.
12. That's a weird word.
13. Here we go... pick it up, pick it up. Fast feet. Light feet. Fast, light feet.
14. THIS IS EXHAUSTING. I'm completely exhausted.
15. You know what? I don't even like running. This is stupid.
16. Why does anyone run? What's the big rush??
17. Seriously, what am I even running from?
18. Maybe I'm running from my past. Maybe this is all just one big metaphorical brain pretzel.
19. Pretzels. MALL PRETZELS—with all of the salt and the CHEESY DIP.
20. I need food.