But that doesn't mean you haven't experienced it. You could be on a group ride when you hear the distinct whoosh of a carbon bike roll up beside you and a sponsored-jersey clad rider mutters a few words. You flinch and your face scrunches in disgust as if you smelled something positively putrid; you might even throw up a little in your mouth. Why? Because that pickle-juice-drinking, carbon-fiber-riding roadie said something like this:
"Psh, check out that dude with the hairy legs."1 of 16
It could get caught in the chain.
"Is this a good place to pee?"2 of 16
Nah, there's a good spot 20 miles up.
"My riding style is somewhere between Froome and Sagan."3 of 16
An inapt comparison.
"Did you see that KOM I posted this morning?"4 of 16
Why, yes. I check hourly.
"I need a gel. Totally bonking here."5 of 16
They really hit the spot.
"I got these socks for free from my sponsor."6 of 16
Did they sponsor your hex wrench, too?
"I still follow Lance Armstrong on Twitter."7 of 16
"Do these shorts make my quads look good?"8 of 16
"I'm riding with George Hincapie at the Gran Fondo this weekend."9 of 16
I'm grabbing a beer with a friend from college.
"Two water bottles? Not cool."10 of 16
When hydration is secondary.
"This is just my training bike."11 of 16
Well, I put $2 into a machine for this bike.
"I was going to do that ride, but it didn't have enough elevation gain."12 of 16
Preaching to the choir, my man.
"That guy in the sleeveless jersey is probably a triathlete."13 of 16
Because swimming and running with sleeves is oh so cool.
"Today's my recovery day."14 of 16
My method of recovery is very different.
"These carbon water bottle cages saved 5 grams."15 of 16
I just clipped my fingernails. We should be about even.