Words that you associate with fear, guilt, and insecurity are never going to make you successful with your goals.
Instead, substitute what you're going to gain—fitness, health, flexibility, strength and happiness because you'll feel good about being healthier and looking better. Reinforce yourself with a "gaining fitness" mantra instead of "losing weight" thinking. The author and motivational speaker, Alan Cohen, says, "What you resist—expands and persists."
Stop resisting your weight. Focus on the benefits of exercise that will make you feel better. Change what's in your mind to more positive thoughts. Healthy living is not a quick fix. You're not going to lose all the weight you want in a couple weeks. But once you do lose it, there's a much better chance that you won't gain it back...if you change your thinking and vision.
Your beliefs determine how much success you will experience at weight management. Believe that you can do it. Read positive, self-affirming books and listen to positive-thought audio tapes (free from the library) when you exercise. Associate with positive thinking people who have the energy that you want to have. Get the help you need to make yourself successful.
Finally, don't hate yourself for your weight gain. Take the action necessary to do something about it. Take action both in your mind and your body. When you fall in love with yourself you'll be irresistible to everyone else.