How to Date a Triathlete

How to Plan Your First Date

1) Scope out their gear. Definitely consider a trail run or a romantic bike race, I mean, stroll along the ocean or lake. This gives you a chance to scope out their gear.

2) Survey their skills. If you're modest (you're a triathlete, so you're probably not), and want to just see if there's any athletic prowess at all, suggest rock climbing or beach volleyball. You can determine the coordination skills of your future children there.

3) Ask the big questions. What are you training for this season? Do you prefer hill repeats or speed intervals? Gels or solids? And of course the ultimate...do you see an Ironman in your future?

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How to Win Them Over

1) Shower them with gifts. An entry to an expensive race is better than receiving Tiffany's on Valentine's Day.

2) Give them compliments. "Babe, that wetsuit is so slimming on you." Or, "I really like the superhero cycling look on you, that's sexy."

3) Be their No. 1 fan. When my boyfriend asked if I wanted him to Tonya Harding the girl who made the racing team over me, I knew it was love.

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How to Understand Them

1) Learn the lingo. Shiv. Negative Split. Chamois. PR. Aero. Brick. 140.6. Bonk. T1 and T2. Crowie. Macca. Don't get caught in a situation where you don't know what a Fartlek is. 

2) Understand the training schedule. Going downtown on a Friday night is not going to happen when our group ride leaves at 7 on Saturday morning. There are three sports in triathlon and all of them require undivided attention. So, don't assume we're having an affair with our coach. He's happily married to another triathlete who's probably way faster than us anyway. And yes, it's completely normal to go missing 4 to 8 hours at a time. It's called a long ride.

3) Know your role on race day. Tell all your friends that your guy or girl is doing a triathlon, not that sissy one-sport marathon thing. Rise early to make us flavorless oatmeal. Brew a giant thermos of black coffee. Have our favorite gels ready at our disposal. Cheer for us, but not too enthusiastically. And have our stats and an electrolyte drink ready for us at the finish line. Look, we know we're awesome; we just need to know how awesome?in the statistical sense.

When you've found the triathlete that makes your heart soar over at least 90 percent of your max, you know you've found the one.

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